Summer Self Care Survival Kit

audrelorde self-care


Everyday I read, watch, or discover something that makes me want to throw in the towel on humanity and crawl back into bed. I don’t really—none of us really—have that luxury though.


There are Nigerian schoolgirls still missing.

Ebola outbreaks marked by fear and/or indifference.

Kids dying in hotass cars.

There is apartheid and genocide in Gaza.

Renisha McBride, Eric Garner, Marissa Alexander and other chokeholds, death grips, suicide trips.

White folks columbusing

Dead trans women every week.


Sometimes talking about self care in the midst of so many forms devastating forms of institutional violence seems like an indulgence. But then I’m reminded of Lorde’s wise words. They are not just platitudes, nor do they encourage selfishness. Lorde’s words compel us to consider that our selves matter, especially in a world where we were never meant to survive but where some of us do. It’s also important to remember that this violence from the State is also reflected all over our interpersonal interactions as well.

No matter how much I think or write about self care, there are times where I need to start back at one. And so my summer self care survival kit is small but mighty. It includes:

Countless hours of catch up phone sessions with faraway loved ones

Time loving on my niece and nephews

Sleeping in with no alarm

An awesome concert #ontherun

Laying on the beach with two of the crunkest sistas I know

Making love

Reading in the quietness of the morning.

Letting go of old hurts and moving forward


It hasn’t stopped the violence, the mayhem, and the disregard of all life.  But it has helped me do the work that I do.

What are you doing to take care of yourself?

7 thoughts on “Summer Self Care Survival Kit

  1. I do not want to make light of transwomen dying every week, as you say, but hundreds of women–females, that is–die each day, around the world as here in the West, at the hands of men. Please, do not forget who is responsible for these deaths and almost ALL violence: Men. That’s just the truth. We will have to deal with it sooner or later on that basis. The hierarchy of gender still leaves females at the bottom.

  2. A few things I have done, am doing, and/or hope to do this summer:

    1. Reading Rich’s “Of Woman Born”
    2. Drinking red red wine.
    3. Sleeping in.
    4. Turning my phone off for a week.
    5. Cancelling my internet connection at home. (It has been cancelled for almost a week, and it feels great.)
    6. Learning and experimenting with bread-making.
    7. Continuing a quilt I have (slowly) been working on this past year..
    8. (Hopefully) watching a marathon of the last half of the season of Orange is the New Black
    9. Take a bath and put some lavender oil in it – Crank the tunes.
    10. Take a nap or two multiple days a week.
    11. Sitting with my plants.
    12. Being loud during sex.
    13. Making “Thank You” cards for a few friends and aunties.
    14. Sewing a new funky bedspread.
    15. Making a tamale casserole for my little cousins and Auntie.

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