While conducting a seminar with college students about self-esteem, Yolo Akili heard a young person say something that remains an important touchstone for those of us trying to do liberatory work in our communities. When talking about loving oneself, a Black woman said, “Self love? That shit’s gay!” I’ve turned this statement over in my […]
a praise song for mamas: a mother’s day mix
I am invested in sepia mamas. My mother lines my eyelids and floats my dreams. She sits on the right hand of the throne she abdicated to all I might become. “Mama gonna work it out,” Martin versioned at his best. Her frame, I shouldn’t calcify. And I’ll leave her flesh be. I know they […]
Beauty Parlor Politics
The first time I “got my hair done” beyond school nights sitting between my mother’s cocoa butter legs while she combed through my hair with grease soaked fingertips, or Saturday morning hot comb rituals in front of the stove, was in the house kitchen of a church lady who did hair on the side. She […]
This is How it Works
You’ve probably already heard about Brian McKnight’s desire to release an “adult” mixtape. Now, brother McKnight has recently claimed that this shamtastery was a parody of the hypersexualized R&B songs that are par for the course. Okay, boo. You might need to start back at one. Something tells me that Forever Knight was not lampooning the […]
How to Lose A Friend in 10 Days
Day 1: Maintain a friendship with your childhood friend, despite the fact that you no longer live in the same state. Tell her you love her like family and that she is like a sister to you. Day 2: Like friends do, share your secrets and fears. At the moment, because you are both approaching […]
Apocalypse Now: Some Thoughts on Race at the End of the World
Last March, Crunktastic and I were in Atlanta for the Southeastern Women’s Studies Association conference when a man approached us and handed us pamphlets that declared the end of the world was fast approaching. In fact, the pamphlet urged us to get our affairs in order so we could be ready by May 21, 2011. […]
Making Movement Mistakes: What to do when you f@*k up
That moment: when some words have escaped your lips, and you realize they were wrong/insensitive/politically incorrect/hurtful. Or the moment when you have made a decision in a coalition that has broken the “do no harm” principle of coalition work. When your actions have undermined someone’s agenda. These moments can be big or small. These moments […]
Bodies Have Histories: Musing on Makode Linde and ‘that’ Cake
Image via The Graph.com Bodies have histories. When I first saw the images of the now infamous “Painful Cake” I had questions. Who created this? What went through their mind? Why is a Black female body being consumed both literally and symbolically by White women? What did the people in the room think? What was […]
Box Out: On Brittney Griner and Women Who Ball (Better Than You)
Guest Post by Summer McDonald Cross posted from Black Youth Project. I have beef with Brittney Griner. It’s not because the Baylor University women’s basketball team she leads beat Notre Dame in the women’s NCAA Division 1 championship a couple of weeks ago, and I like an underdog–even if it is Notre Dame. It’s not […]
Big Girls Need Love, Too: Dating While Fat (And Feminist)
I have recently come to the conclusion that I’m going to have to lose a significant amount of weight in order to have a viable chance at a love life. Let me be clear: this is not a fat-hating post. When I look in the mirror, for the most part, I like what I see. […]