Dear Patriarchy,

Dear Patriarchy,

This isn’t working. We both know that it hasn’t been working for a very long time.

It’s not you…no actually, it is you. This is an unhealthy, dysfunctional, abusive relationship because of you. You are stifling, controlling, oppressive and you have never had my best interest at heart. You have tricked me into believing that things are the way they are because they have to be, that they have always been that way, that there are no alternatives and that they will never change. Anytime I questioned you or your ways, you found another way to silence me and coerce me back into submission. I can’t do this anymore. I’ve changed and in spite of your shackles, I’ve grown. I have realized that this whole restrictive system is your own fabrication and that the only one that is gaining anything from it is you. You selfish dick.

I will not continue to live like this. I will not continue to settle. I know now that there is a better way.

Before you hear about it from one of your boys, you should know that I have met someone. Her name is Feminism. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me. She validates and respects my opinions. She ALWAYS has my best interest at heart. She thinks that I am beautiful and loves me just the way I am. She has helped me find my voice and she makes me happier than I have ever been. We have made each other stronger. Best of all, we encourage and challenge each other to grow. And the sex…the sex is so much hotter.

I’m leaving you. You’re an asshole. We can never be friends. Don’t call me. Ever.

Never yours,

17 thoughts on “Dear Patriarchy,

  1. Dear Crunkista,

    I promise I’ll love you and treat you like a good woman if you just be a little quieter. Oh yeah, and quit your job. And if I think you’re cute. And if I think you’re “virtuous” according to really really old standards of conduct. But really–I’ll be bringing the no-holds-barred conditional love your way after that–I PROMISE.
    Conditionally yours,

  2. love this!

    I love being a part of this community!

    also, isn’t it interesting that one of the worst insults for a dude implicitly references his mother and her sexual behavior?

    1. MB, when I was writing it, I thought the same thing…and after some more thought…I’ve changed it.
      Many thanks,

  3. Why did I get Divorced?
    Because Patri Archy is a damn fool and I am much more than a damn fool’s isolated wife and too much of a crunk feminist with a collective.

    This letter must be published and taught widely.

  4. I’m deleting P’s number from my phone. And we’re not Facebook friends anymore, either!

  5. Love, love love love this. Feel like printing it and putting it on my front door, outside like, so people can read before entering.


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