Tag Archives: self care

Loving Ourselves: The Case for Radical Empathy

Her voice is a revelation and her concert last week in Atlanta was nothing short of a religious experience

It’s been a rough past few weeks, hasn’t it? Between the SCOTUS rulings, Zimmerman trial, another recent discovery of a serial killer who has targeted Black women, and the general tomfoolery of white supremacy experienced on a daily basis, it seems like we can’t catch a break. Certainly, it’s never easy to be a person of color, but it has felt, at least to me, particularly egregious recently.  We have a lot of work to do to get free and stay free, but in the meantime I’m really concerned about how we love (on) ourselves and each other—because the business …Read more »

Love Lessons: Musiq Soulchild & Tressie Cottom

When I sat down to write the song that came to mind was Musiq Soulchild’s Love.  I thought about this perfect ballad because it allows for a much larger vision of love that includes all manner of relationships including the one we have with ourselves.  Soulchild sings… Love So many people use your name in vain Love Those who have faith in you sometimes go astray Love Through all the ups and downs the joys and hurts Love For better or worse I still will choose you first I have been reflecting on the love of my sisters, particularly in …Read more »

Throwback Thursday: A Love Poem for Single Mothers

Hey girl, I’m calling Cause I got your text Seems you might need a hug And a minute to vent So you spent one more night Trying to find the words To explain that joint parenting Means JOINT WORK! That what he can’t pay for Can be supplemented with time Especially since you’re working And studying at night He seems to believe That you are well paid Even though you are overqualified For a job that you hate But you stay cause you have to And your boss knows that well But her singing your praises Is not paying your …Read more »

Get Crunk! Two Years and Counting!

  http://www.ustream.tv/embed/recorded/21662874 Video streaming by Ustream I’m in a reflective space after the Black Thought 2.0 Conference at Duke. I want to begin by thanking the conference organizers for inviting me to be on this panel. It felt good to be recognized as a junior scholar for my work and contribution to a growing network of black thinkers concerned with the digital. I’d also like to thank the often unnamed people of color who make campuses run, the people who maintain the buildings, who cleaned up after we left, who built this building, the indigenous and black people whose lives …Read more »

Umoja means Unity!

Today is the first day of Kwanzaa and I am having a few friends and family over to celebrate Umoja, which means UNITY.  I was first introduced to Kwanzaa as a child when my mother volunteered me to work the slideshow at a black arts museum in Atlanta.  I was so irritated then, but I am so thankful now.  Now that I am a full grown Black feminist I want to take the opportunity to reflect on CFC posts from 2011 that I think of as part of Nguzo Saba–Seven Principles of Kwanzaa. Image taken from http://www.lasentinel.net/UserFiles/File/122211/1Kwanzaa-kinara.jpg UMOJA means Unity …Read more »

Rituals , Spells, and Intuition

I come from a world where you don’t mess with your ancestors, dreams have meaning, seashells give advice, upside down coffee cups tell stories, and practicing black magic has severe consequences. As a child, I would sit between my mother and aunties’ legs witnessing women tipping stained coffee cups to the side, preaching of ills and/or prosperity yet to come. I would listen intently to them speak of cleansing rituals and baths that needed to be performed to keep evil spirits and negativity at bay. They would mesmerize me recounting dreams where lottery numbers, impending pregnancies, and cheating husbands were …Read more »

Irene, Erykah and the Stuff after Storms

When Irene whistled, I listened to Erykah. Curled on a daybed in the dark, I rummaged for ways to salvage stuff in the midst of a hurricane when Badu pleaded to the self-proclaimed bag lady on a drained battery to let it go. This summer, I returned to my Virginia hometown to weather a different kind of storm. Separated from my partner and seeking a homeplace to complete research for my “tenure” book, I found myself searching in a cardboard box—a time capsule, which housed old academic awards, articles, and origami-folded, water-stained yes-no-will-you-go-with-me love letters that date back to the …Read more »

Putting My House in Order: Some Thoughts on Self-Care

Toni Cade Bambara’s “On the Issue of Roles” is one of my all-time favorite essays and a particular passage has been on my mind a lot lately. Bambara writes: Running off to mimeograph a fuck-whitey leaflet, leaving your mate to brood, is not revolutionary. Hopping on a plane to rap to someone else’s “community” while your son struggles alone with the Junior Scholastic  assignment on “The Dark Continent”  is not revolutionary. Sitting around murder-mouthing incorrect niggers while your father goes upside your mother’s head is not revolutionary. Mapping out a building  takeover when     your term paper is overdue and …Read more »

How To Say No: The “B” side to Self-Care

(This post is in response to Life Is Not A Fairytale:  Black Women and Depression, one of our earlier and most popular posts.) It took me years to unlearn the habit of saying yes automatically when someone asked me for (or to do) something.  So often had that single syllable fallen from my tongue that I would often agree to things before people even asked.  In time I realized that I had spoiled the people around me to the point that they assumed I owed them a response of agreement, no matter how inconvenient and unreasonable it was.  Many times, if …Read more »

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