Tag Archives: self care

A Crunk Feminist Response to Solange, Jay, & Bey

Earlier this week, TMZ released the now infamous elevator video of Solange going HAM on Jay Z.  The responses have been swift and the memes have been hilarious.  I’m a let y’all finish but, there are a few things missing from the conversation. First of all, Solange was dead wrong.  Now don’t get me wrong, I am a huge Solange fan. She’s my favorite little sister in the history of celebrity little sisters.  I’ve always appreciated her spunk and her fighter spirit. Real talk,  I always liked that there was a possibility that she might haul off and slap somebody. …Read more »

Self Love Is the Best Love

  After a long while she spoke very softly.  “Is it true that I can have a baby now?” “Sure,” said Frieda drowsily.  “Sure you can.” “But . . . how?” Her voice was hollow with wonder. “Oh,” said Frieda, “somebody has to love you.” “Oh.” There was a long pause in which Pecola and I thought this over.  It would involve, I supposed, “my man,” who before leaving me, would love me.  But there weren’t any babies in the songs my mother sang.  Maybe that’s why the women were sad: the men left before they could make a baby. …Read more »

On Leaving The CFC

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. – Martin Luther King Jr. One of my main growing edges as a person is being a recovering people pleaser. Blame it on being an only child, a lonely extrovert without lots of peers to play with, a quirky black girl in a mostly white world growing up, a Gemini with a penchant for being a chameleon who can adapt to any situation… I used to put other people’s feelings and needs before my own. That shit sucked! I ended up doing …Read more »

Loving Ourselves: The Case for Radical Empathy

Her voice is a revelation and her concert last week in Atlanta was nothing short of a religious experience

It’s been a rough past few weeks, hasn’t it? Between the SCOTUS rulings, Zimmerman trial, another recent discovery of a serial killer who has targeted Black women, and the general tomfoolery of white supremacy experienced on a daily basis, it seems like we can’t catch a break. Certainly, it’s never easy to be a person of color, but it has felt, at least to me, particularly egregious recently.  We have a lot of work to do to get free and stay free, but in the meantime I’m really concerned about how we love (on) ourselves and each other—because the business …Read more »

Not that Kind of Dr.

She has a substance abuse issue, she has anxiety disorder, she had an abortion during the semester (did not tell parents), she experienced sexual abuse by older female family members, she experienced being homeless (on her on) before coming to college, she is escaping a dangerous neighborhood and has lost several friends to gun violence, she has been on anti-depressant medication, she experienced physical abuse by her father, she is having major financial trouble, he is struggling and caring for his mother, he has gone without meals and shelter during college, she has struggled with peers pressuring her about weight, …Read more »

Single, Saved, and Sexin: The Redux

One of the most controversial posts we’ve ever had here at the blog was called Single, Saved, and Sexin’: The Gospel of Getting Your Freak On. In that piece, over two years ago, I argued: Sex is a form of creative power. And it is in the literal fact of its creative aspects that we feel alive, fully human, and connected. I think God wants nothing less than this for us, and that requires regular, intimate connections of bodies, or at the very least a very regular, intentional and unapologetic intimate connection with our own body.   So sex is …Read more »

Love Lessons: Musiq Soulchild & Tressie Cottom

When I sat down to write the song that came to mind was Musiq Soulchild’s Love.  I thought about this perfect ballad because it allows for a much larger vision of love that includes all manner of relationships including the one we have with ourselves.  Soulchild sings… Love So many people use your name in vain Love Those who have faith in you sometimes go astray Love Through all the ups and downs the joys and hurts Love For better or worse I still will choose you first I have been reflecting on the love of my sisters, particularly in …Read more »

Throwback Thursday: A Love Poem for Single Mothers

Hey girl, I’m calling Cause I got your text Seems you might need a hug And a minute to vent So you spent one more night Trying to find the words To explain that joint parenting Means JOINT WORK! That what he can’t pay for Can be supplemented with time Especially since you’re working And studying at night He seems to believe That you are well paid Even though you are overqualified For a job that you hate But you stay cause you have to And your boss knows that well But her singing your praises Is not paying your …Read more »

Get Crunk! Two Years and Counting!

  http://www.ustream.tv/embed/recorded/21662874 Video streaming by Ustream I’m in a reflective space after the Black Thought 2.0 Conference at Duke. I want to begin by thanking the conference organizers for inviting me to be on this panel. It felt good to be recognized as a junior scholar for my work and contribution to a growing network of black thinkers concerned with the digital. I’d also like to thank the often unnamed people of color who make campuses run, the people who maintain the buildings, who cleaned up after we left, who built this building, the indigenous and black people whose lives …Read more »

Umoja means Unity!

Today is the first day of Kwanzaa and I am having a few friends and family over to celebrate Umoja, which means UNITY.  I was first introduced to Kwanzaa as a child when my mother volunteered me to work the slideshow at a black arts museum in Atlanta.  I was so irritated then, but I am so thankful now.  Now that I am a full grown Black feminist I want to take the opportunity to reflect on CFC posts from 2011 that I think of as part of Nguzo Saba–Seven Principles of Kwanzaa. Image taken from http://www.lasentinel.net/UserFiles/File/122211/1Kwanzaa-kinara.jpg UMOJA means Unity …Read more »

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