Tag Archives: relationships

On the Glorification of the Side Chick

So, the question has been asked, is 2014 the year of the side chick?  When thinking about this there are a few things to consider.  Is this a declaration, a compliment, or a fear?  According to popular media, side chicks, or women (usually women of color) who are knowingly in a relationship with a man who is already in a relationship are on the rise.  However, side chicks existed long before reality TV, BET and tabloids.  When I was growing up it was not uncommon for a man to have a woman at home (usually the mother of his children) and …Read more »

Love Praxis and Sticky Fingers

Each year the CFC spends the month of February doing some love talk and this year I want to set it off by sharing a few of my thoughts on love praxis. A little background: I have been in a committed relationship for nearly 14 years, married for 9 years.  I am still close to besties from preschool and 5th grade.  I have a beautiful child, come from a big family, and I am part of large community of loving folks. I think about love in three ways: in-love, love, and loving (not mutually exclusive).  I believe that being in-love …Read more »

On Leaving The CFC

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. – Martin Luther King Jr. One of my main growing edges as a person is being a recovering people pleaser. Blame it on being an only child, a lonely extrovert without lots of peers to play with, a quirky black girl in a mostly white world growing up, a Gemini with a penchant for being a chameleon who can adapt to any situation… I used to put other people’s feelings and needs before my own. That shit sucked! I ended up doing …Read more »

no strings

i thought that i could be brave enough to make love to you with no strings attached but your arms around me felt like strings your fingers, like strings when you used them to massage my neck and caress my back and my legs felt like strings when i held them around your neck & squeezed and scratched your back leaving marks that looked like strings i thought we could be happy together laughing before, during, and after wrapped up in damp sheets and avoiding each other’s eyes so that we can pretend that it wasn’t that deep all that …Read more »

The Joy(s) of Being A (Black) Woman

I taught a class of Black Women’s Stories this semester and it culminated in a moment of clarity and a recognition of joy. When speaking with a black woman scholar whom I both admire and respect, I shared some of my concerns about the course and how while the stories are certainly powerful, many narratives of black womanhood concentrate on pain, including my own.  I shared that I was excited about the class because it allowed me to collect all of my favorite black girl/woman stories and teach them—teach myself—but that I did not want anyone to walk away feeling …Read more »

Single, Saved, and Sewn-In: The Gospel of Getting Your Hair Done

Sew in

* To celebrate our anniversary month, some of us are revisiting previous posts from the past year and reflecting on them. I have chosen to reflect on “Single, Saved and Sexin’: The Gospel of Getting Your Freak On” because it was one of our most popular posts. Crunkashell’s truth telling and well-written argument inspired me to think about another Biblical edict that has shaped my life. I hope this frees you too.                                                             Unapologetically sewn-in.   Like most conservative, fundamentalist, literalist Christian folks, I grew up believing that getting your hair done was a sin—the only sin, in fact, that …Read more »

The Game Rewind (and Revise)

Last night, CF Asha and I chatted about BETs The Game. We discussed our overall opinion of the series as a whole and the Tuesday (3/1/11) episode specifically. As Crunk Feminist we pay particular attention to the linkages of race, gender, and popular culture and ask for the writers and producers to do better. We posted the edited transcript of our conversation below.  (Note: It’s a bit long, but its a chat so should be a quick read). Ashaf: Where should we start? Chanel: well i think the Meagan Good (Parker) thing is a good place Ashaf: But the season begins with …Read more »

no love

i don’t write love poetry anymore or/poetry about love my heart and bed are empty my thoughts a distant memory of/what love used to be * i once wrapped my life & legs around him watched from the outside as i lost myself in someone else who didn’t lose himself in me it was an out of body experience & when he touched me, he moved me mentally his voice melted me like butter & in his presence i was weak when he would walk into a room it was his eyes that would speak saying, “Robin, c’mere” & i …Read more »

Living Single

I hate the term single. Despite the fact that most of us come in to this world by ourselves and leave that way there’s an expectation of partnering in the interim. And while you are granted a bit more of a reprieve from single shade* in queerdom, there’s still a palpable partner privilege that operates. Couples only hang outs, automatic invites to your partner’s friends’ functions, less unwanted amorous attention because you’re read as off limits, more respect for your time as it’s obviously being impacted by another person, etc. I’ve had the unfortunate but not uncommon experience of losing …Read more »

Support the CFC! Donate Today!

Thank you to our Generous Supporters!

Email us at crunkfeminists@gmail.com to find out how you can become a supporter.

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 2,717 other subscribers

Follow me on Twitter

Blog Topics

Meta