Tag Archives: relationships

no strings

i thought that i could be brave enough to make love to you with no strings attached but your arms around me felt like strings your fingers, like strings when you used them to massage my neck and caress my back and my legs felt like strings when i held them around your neck & squeezed and scratched your back leaving marks that looked like strings i thought we could be happy together laughing before, during, and after wrapped up in damp sheets and avoiding each other’s eyes so that we can pretend that it wasn’t that deep all that …Read more »

The Joy(s) of Being A (Black) Woman

I taught a class of Black Women’s Stories this semester and it culminated in a moment of clarity and a recognition of joy. When speaking with a black woman scholar whom I both admire and respect, I shared some of my concerns about the course and how while the stories are certainly powerful, many narratives of black womanhood concentrate on pain, including my own.  I shared that I was excited about the class because it allowed me to collect all of my favorite black girl/woman stories and teach them—teach myself—but that I did not want anyone to walk away feeling …Read more »

Single, Saved, and Sewn-In: The Gospel of Getting Your Hair Done

Sew in

* To celebrate our anniversary month, some of us are revisiting previous posts from the past year and reflecting on them. I have chosen to reflect on “Single, Saved and Sexin’: The Gospel of Getting Your Freak On” because it was one of our most popular posts. Crunkashell’s truth telling and well-written argument inspired me to think about another Biblical edict that has shaped my life. I hope this frees you too.                                                             Unapologetically sewn-in.   Like most conservative, fundamentalist, literalist Christian folks, I grew up believing that getting your hair done was a sin—the only sin, in fact, that …Read more »

The Game Rewind (and Revise)

Last night, CF Asha and I chatted about BETs The Game. We discussed our overall opinion of the series as a whole and the Tuesday (3/1/11) episode specifically. As Crunk Feminist we pay particular attention to the linkages of race, gender, and popular culture and ask for the writers and producers to do better. We posted the edited transcript of our conversation below.  (Note: It’s a bit long, but its a chat so should be a quick read). Ashaf: Where should we start? Chanel: well i think the Meagan Good (Parker) thing is a good place Ashaf: But the season begins with …Read more »

no love

i don’t write love poetry anymore or/poetry about love my heart and bed are empty my thoughts a distant memory of/what love used to be * i once wrapped my life & legs around him watched from the outside as i lost myself in someone else who didn’t lose himself in me it was an out of body experience & when he touched me, he moved me mentally his voice melted me like butter & in his presence i was weak when he would walk into a room it was his eyes that would speak saying, “Robin, c’mere” & i …Read more »

Living Single

I hate the term single. Despite the fact that most of us come in to this world by ourselves and leave that way there’s an expectation of partnering in the interim. And while you are granted a bit more of a reprieve from single shade* in queerdom, there’s still a palpable partner privilege that operates. Couples only hang outs, automatic invites to your partner’s friends’ functions, less unwanted amorous attention because you’re read as off limits, more respect for your time as it’s obviously being impacted by another person, etc. I’ve had the unfortunate but not uncommon experience of losing …Read more »

Females: You Just Can’t Trust ‘Em and Other Lies Women Believe

Distrust among women is at epidemic proportions, especially among women of color.  I am always amazed at the number of women I encounter who declare proudly, that they don’t hang with other FEMALES, preferring the company of males whom they are quick to assert are less prone to gossip, back-stabbing, and emotionalism. Side Note: Y’all know dudes gossip! Stop frontin! For many women, it’s a badge of honor to be “one of the guys.” Ironically, I have never heard a man declare that he doesn’t “kick it with other dudes, because men are generally not to be trusted.” In fact, …Read more »

On Slim Thug

From news media pundits, comedians-turned-relationship experts, to a soulful singer speaking about his self-proclaimed white supremacist penis in Playboy, it would seem that everybody has something to say about the un/desirability of Black women. When I read the Vibe interview excerpt by Slim Thug and the response gone viral by Marc Lamont Hill, I opened my laptop to see my cursor just jumping on the electronic page amped for me to slam Slim and the keys, to throw my two cents into the blogosphere to make sense out of his deplorable depictions about Black womanhood. And, then I heard the …Read more »

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