Category Archives: Family

Mama’s Baby, Papa’s Maybe

Father’s Day has come and gone again. As someone who did not grow up with a father or father figures, this day has not traditionally been on my radar at all. These days, though, it’s hard to forget Father’s Day, besides all the incessant commercials urging you to buy the fathers in your life any number of useless objects, there are all the obligatory posts and profile picture changes on social media that serve as poignant reminders.  I often smile wryly when I see these public declarations regarding fatherhood. Some posts seem like wishes for what a father might have …Read more »

Getting Crunk at Charis: Sweetwater and Supporting Feminist Bookstores!

Come one, come all! Join us in Atlanta at Charis Books and More on Friday, June 28th, 2013 at 7:30pm EST for CF Robin Boylorn’s book talk for Sweetwater: Black Women and Narratives of Resilience.   The CFC is so proud of our girl Robin! Earlier this year, she published her first book with Peter Lang Press, Sweetwater: Black Women and Narratives of Resilience and we want the world to know about it! Sweetwater is a semi-autobiographical narrative that poignantly describes Robin’s experience growing up as a rural Black girl, while also reflecting on the lives and relationships of Black …Read more »

the light of us: a mother’s day mix

call it our craziness even, call it anything. it is the life thing in us that will not let us die. Poet Lucille Clifton’s language for lineage was cherished. “roots,” a poem from her  1974 collection An Ordinary Woman named it light and I choose to liken it to mothering. it is the light in us it is the light of us it is the light, call it whatever you have to, call it anything I call it mom. I call it a practice of unconditional love that this weekend calls us to celebrate. To all who mother, thank you. Such living …Read more »

we: a thanksgiving mix

Thursday we feast. We who have it good enough to put a turkey on the table and lament the tryptophan-induced ‘itis with loved ones over card tables. And that we won’t include me. I won’t be home for the holidays but here in Harlem and I haven’t done turkey for more than a decade. I’ve done vegan field roasts, the palate-spoiler that is Tofurky (rebuke it family), the delightful but not vegan Quorn Turk’y Roast, tofu cutlets, Sophie’s Kitchen extraordinary vegan calamari, the list of faux meats goes on and on. But my outsider status is a privilege–I could partake …Read more »

Please Feel Free to Keep Your Bullshit Apology

So, I was on Facebook (granted, I know that was my very first mistake) and I came across a homophobic comment posted by my youngest brother. Back story: my little brother and I have the same dad but different moms. I don’t use the word “half-brother” because to me if feels like it somehow delegitimatizes our bond. Even though we grew up in different homes, we have a very strong history and have created many loving memories. Needless to say, I love my little brother very much. I am often saddened by the fact that we didn’t grow up in …Read more »

Memories, survival and safety

TRIGGER WARNING This post contains information about sexual violence that may be triggering to survivors. I know if feels like I been gone for a minute but now I’m back, green tea on ice with a fitted. Mi familia, it has been a while since I last posted. I have to be honest, for a while it didn’t feel safe to write for the blog. I am an extremely private person. So private that even Facebook gives me the creeps. Consequently, it felt like writing for the collective and speaking frankly about my experiences, thoughts, doubts, fears and feelings exposed …Read more »

Throwback Thursday: A Love Poem for Single Mothers

Hey girl, I’m calling Cause I got your text Seems you might need a hug And a minute to vent So you spent one more night Trying to find the words To explain that joint parenting Means JOINT WORK! That what he can’t pay for Can be supplemented with time Especially since you’re working And studying at night He seems to believe That you are well paid Even though you are overqualified For a job that you hate But you stay cause you have to And your boss knows that well But her singing your praises Is not paying your …Read more »

a praise song for mamas: a mother’s day mix

I am invested in sepia mamas. My mother lines my eyelids and floats my dreams. She sits on the right hand of the throne she abdicated to all I might become. “Mama gonna work it out,” Martin versioned at his best. Her frame, I shouldn’t calcify. And I’ll leave her flesh be. I know they all can’t be spirit walkers, miracle workers, love lighters but my life tells me so. And just surviving the ‘buking and scorning is worth sainthood. Much more is our mothers’ legacy though, my life, but one humble example. As these years have gone by, I …Read more »

The World Can Wait

Cis and trans* women of color do a lot of work that they don’t get paid for. Work at home, work at work, work in our communities, everywhere really. And a lot of it is done out of love. Love for our communities, love for our lovers, and things/people we believe in.There’s a saying, “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” and it has always missed the mark for me because it assumes that we would and do treat ourselves well. Women of color don’t always do that. We have a well documented history of doing …Read more »

Lessons Learned

“Mas sabe el Diablo por viejo que por Diablo.” “The devil knows more from being old than from being the devil.” This is my birthday month and I have now lived on this planet for 3 whole decades. I’ve been thinking a lot about the lessons I have learned and thought I would share them with you, my crunk feminist familia. #1 – An ex is an ex for a reason. I have a reasonable number of exes. Each and every one of them has pretty much proven that the best thing that could have possibly happened was for that …Read more »

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