Category Archives: Relationships

the light of us: a mother’s day mix

Posted on May 10, 2013 by jalylah
One comment

call it our craziness even, call it anything. it is the life thing in us that will not let us die. Poet Lucille Clifton’s language for lineage was cherished. “roots,” a poem from her  1974 collection An Ordinary Woman named it light and I choose to liken it to mothering. it is the light in us it is the light of us it is the light, call it whatever you have to, call it anything I call it mom. I call it a practice of unconditional love that this weekend calls us to celebrate. To all who mother, thank you. Such living …Read more »

Category: Art, Family, Feminism, Gender, Music, Spirituality | Tags:

Not that Kind of Dr.

Posted on April 15, 2013 by sheridf
22 comments

She has a substance abuse issue, she has anxiety disorder, she had an abortion during the semester (did not tell parents), she experienced sexual abuse by older female family members, she experienced being homeless (on her on) before coming to college, she is escaping a dangerous neighborhood and has lost several friends to gun violence, she has been on anti-depressant medication, she experienced physical abuse by her father, she is having major financial trouble, he is struggling and caring for his mother, he has gone without meals and shelter during college, she has struggled with peers pressuring her about weight, …Read more »

Category: Academia, Body, Pedagogy, Relationships, Self-Care, Uncategorized, Violence |

Single, Saved, and Sexin: The Redux

Posted on March 14, 2013 by crunktastic
17 comments

One of the most controversial posts we’ve ever had here at the blog was called Single, Saved, and Sexin’: The Gospel of Getting Your Freak On. In that piece, over two years ago, I argued: Sex is a form of creative power. And it is in the literal fact of its creative aspects that we feel alive, fully human, and connected. I think God wants nothing less than this for us, and that requires regular, intimate connections of bodies, or at the very least a very regular, intentional and unapologetic intimate connection with our own body.   So sex is …Read more »

Category: Feminism, Relationships, Religion, Self-Care, Sexualities, Spirituality |

Pineapples

Posted on March 4, 2013 by crunkashell
3 comments

They say eating pineapples makes your juices taste good. Lately, I find myself ordering lots of fruit salads, tryin’ to guarantee that my juices keep her coming back for more. She doesn’t know this of course. I mean, I know she loves me and I know she loves my goodies but still … I’m trying to lock this one DOWN. I’m not sure how she does it. Again and again. Well maybe, I do. It’s the way she looks in those boxers I selfishly buy “for” her. Her soft skin on mine. The way all her juices penetrate my lips. …Read more »

Category: LBGT*QIQTSAA, Relationships, Sexualities | Tags: , , , ,

Love Lessons: Musiq Soulchild & Tressie Cottom

Posted on February 11, 2013 by sheridf
3 comments

When I sat down to write the song that came to mind was Musiq Soulchild’s Love.  I thought about this perfect ballad because it allows for a much larger vision of love that includes all manner of relationships including the one we have with ourselves.  Soulchild sings… Love So many people use your name in vain Love Those who have faith in you sometimes go astray Love Through all the ups and downs the joys and hurts Love For better or worse I still will choose you first I have been reflecting on the love of my sisters, particularly in …Read more »

Category: Feminism, Relationships, Self-Care, The CFC | Tags: , , ,

(On Making Sure) Love Never Fails: Some Reflections on Feminism, Faith, and Holograms

Posted on February 4, 2013 by crunktastic
12 comments

I have made no secret with y’all that I’m a church girl and that the church remains profoundly important to me, even though I have walked out of it in anger, been disturbed and therefore refuse to be contained by much of its stifling theology, and generally am completely over the shenanigans of church folks, who have perfected the art of concern trolling in the name of Jesus. But church is still the place I go when I need to get my mind and my spirit right, when the work I want to do in the world has me vexed, …Read more »

Category: Feminism, Relationships |

Remember Their Names: In Memory of Kasandra, Cherica & Others

Posted on December 3, 2012 by rboylorn
83 comments

I am sure that by now many of you know the name Jovan Belcher.  If you didn’t know his name (as I didn’t) before this weekend, you know it now.  He is the Kansas City Chiefs player who shot and killed his girlfriend before taking his own life on Saturday.  Headlines and news stories have focused on the tragedy from the lens of the perpetrator (including speculation of potential brain trauma, his involvement, as an undergraduate, in a Male Athletes Against Violence initiative, and his standing as an allstar athlete), in some ways dismissing or overshadowing the lens of the victim, …Read more »

Category: Relationships, Violence | Tags: , ,

we: a cfc thanksgiving mix

Posted on November 21, 2012 by jalylah
6 comments

Thursday we feast. We who have it good enough to put a turkey on the table and lament the tryptophan-induced ‘itis with loved ones over card tables. And that we won’t include me. I won’t be home for the holidays but here in Harlem and I haven’t done turkey for more than a decade. I’ve done vegan field roasts, the palate-spoiler that is Tofurky (rebuke it family), the delightful but not vegan Quorn Turk’y Roast, tofu cutlets, Sophie’s Kitchen extraordinary vegan calamari, the list of faux meats goes on and on. But my outsider status is a privilege–I could partake …Read more »

Category: Family, Music | Tags: ,

Chasing Time: A Reflection of Thanks(giving)

Posted on November 19, 2012 by rboylorn
9 comments

Time flies whether you are having fun or not.  My childhood seemed to linger like thick molasses while my twenties flew by like short school days.  Before I knew it I was post-30, highly educated, minimally motivated, hundreds of miles away from home but finally at home with myself.  When I turned thirty I had all kinds of epiphanies.  I woke up loving myself some myself, and intentionally purging negativity (thoughts, people, pain) out of my life.  For the first time in what seemed like forever I wasn’t afraid of what that might mean.  Affiliations be damned.  So-called friends be …Read more »

Category: Relationships, Self-Care | Tags: , , , , ,

Please Feel Free to Keep Your Bullshit Apology

Posted on October 11, 2012 by crunkista
9 comments

So, I was on Facebook (granted, I know that was my very first mistake) and I came across a homophobic comment posted by my youngest brother. Back story: my little brother and I have the same dad but different moms. I don’t use the word “half-brother” because to me if feels like it somehow delegitimatizes our bond. Even though we grew up in different homes, we have a very strong history and have created many loving memories. Needless to say, I love my little brother very much. I am often saddened by the fact that we didn’t grow up in …Read more »

Category: Activism, Family, LBGT*QIQTSAA, Patriarchy, Pop Culture, Sexualities, Uncategorized |

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