Fish dreams signal pregnancy in my family.  The premonition, which was mostly my grandmother’s or another maternal figure, has been consistent and accurate for as long as I can remember.  All girl children were implicated by any dream that featured fish. . .  Menses signaled to my family that I was to be watched, warned, and if need be threatened with the many ways that motherhood would limit my options, embarrass the family, and guarantee me a life of struggle.  I was told that I should keep my head in the books and my legs closed.  So I followed directions …Read more »

Last night, I watched the interview of  Jamaal Parris,  one of four young men who has come forward accusing Atlanta mega church pastor Eddie Long of sexual abuse and coercion. When the story of Long’s alleged sexual abuse of these young men hit news outlets last week, I was shocked and reluctant to comment. You see I’m a committed Christian, a weekly churchgoer, and the (step)daughter of a pastor. I attended grad school in Atlanta, where I also regularly attended a mega-church, led a ministry team, and heard Bishop Long preach on more than one occasion. He’s my pastor’s pastor.  And …Read more »

We live in a hurting and hurtful world.  News reports abound, of course, that makes nihilism a quotidian way of life.  But more than that, it is a viable option for moving through times that give us so little reason to smile, to love, to have joy.  But the beat drops and you see folks nodding their head in a hooptie in the hood.  You see a kid running, laughing, with the biggest smile on his, her or hir face.  And you begin to wonder.  And feel, maybe just slightly, wonderful.  There is beauty in the world, in this world.  Not …Read more »

TRIGGER WARNING: THIS VIDEO CONTAINS AN ACT OF SEXUAL VIOLENCE A young woman is walking to work at about 6 AM when a man appearing to be on a cell phone waits for her to pass him and then  grabs her and carries her behind a van.  They disappear from view and he later emerges fixing his clothing and she emerges a few minutes later in a state of confusion adjusting her clothes. This is caught on the surveillance camera of a convenience store that was not yet open. When my brother brought this video to my attention I was …Read more »

Family, check out this piece from friend of the CFC Elizabeth Mendez Berry. by Elizabeth Mendez Berry/ www.mendezberry.com (this is a translation of a Spanish-language oped originally published by New York’s El Diario on September 14, 2010) I was 13 when I was sexually harassed for the first time. On a sunny summer day, two men in a pickup truck followed me for several blocks, yelling obscene things they wanted to do to me. When I was 18, a catcaller chased me home from the grocery store; he tried to force his way into my apartment. My experience is not …Read more »

My husband and I have been together for ten years, married for five.  I have been reflecting on our relationship particularly because there are very few positive narratives about black male and female relationships in general.  But I have been thinking about the fact that I haven’t come across many positive narratives about self-identified black (women) feminists in intimate relationships with black men.  It seems that hetero black feminists tend to discuss brothas in an “out there” cultural or intellectual kinda way in our scholarly work unless someone close to us does something unforgivable and then we make “the personal …Read more »

For some, the title of this piece would indicate that what follows is most certainly a farce, but it’s a bit more complicated than that. Last week, I took a trip to New York to visit my girls and to celebrate finishing up my book manuscript.  I was dead tired but so so glad that I had booked a vacation. Far too often I have fallen into the trap of going, going, going, even when my body and spirit are telling me, “sit the hell down.” So, for once, I listened. I hung out with Eesha P and Crunkista and …Read more »